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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
Give less fucks about unimportant shit gents! it will help you immensely
That is actually great advice. One of the perspectives that can come with getting older is how few of the things that you spent time stressing over actually mattered in the long run.
I still get pissed off alright but I am determined I won't hang onto my anger. People who fuck me around don't get the added bonus of causing me stress. That took a lot of work to be honest. I always cared too much for what other people thought and probably overcompensated by being pretty hard-nosed. That worked pretty well for me professionally but it cost me a marriage and a few friends. It didn't help that I worked in The City at the height of it's hard-drinking heyday. I'm glad to say I've cut way, way back on the drinking, which probably saved my life.
In general though my life's pretty good. There's not much I realistically wanted to achieve that I haven't. The one upside of not having kids is that it became pretty clear a while back that I was going to run out of years before I run out of money. So every year now I set aside some money that I will donate or give away at Christmas and I've found that pretty good for my mental health.
I have to say that going on the Grumpy Old Man thread you'd be excused for thinking that this place is full of misery, but this thread gives me hope that maybe we're not all fluffybunnies, at least not all the time.
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@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@JC said in Happiness Scale:
@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
er, onlyfans?
Only person who could have filmed it was the wife because she set it up.
Probably did it in portrait too...
You're not married to @jegga 's ex are you? I reckon she's done him in.
Hmmm. Wonder what her MO is?
Surely not the old, possum, gumboots, gun, duck fence trick?
Who knows, he's not around to ask, which is ominous.
To be completely honest, I'm amazed you fell for this. A duck fence isn't a thing. Seriously. IT'S A TRIPWIRE.
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@JC Certainly was in this case.
It can be electrified so I'm a little surpised that she didn't have it turned on. It is appently for larger stock than poultry, but I'm still hoping for ready made fried chicken or peking duck (yes ours are called that) if I plug it in.
That would raise happiness levels considerably, not for the chickens, ducks, or wife obviously, and happy wife, happy life really is a thing even if they are trying to kill you.
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@Rapido said in Happiness Scale:
Approx 7/10 on happiness scale.
I am a relative (not extreme) introvert, and also laid back. So I don’t really push myself. So in terms of happiness from ‘achieving’, I do just enough to get by.
Had a bit of a very mild mid-life 'crisis' a few years back. My father was a high achiever who died young. I was invited to a reunion of his organization and was a bit blown away by it all. Made me reflect on that I had achieved at the same age ….. and the opportunities missed etc. The very mild outcome of that was a resolution to get out into the great outdoors while I’m still young enough.
Came to conclusion our personalities must have been very different.
Career wise I’m going good and I’m classified as a high earner, there has been a few ebbs and flows to get there though ! I can relate to what you’re saying as the old man was outstanding in a very tough field.
I say ‘was’ as he’s retired now as 76 years olds tend to be.But....my Mum says with great pride that I’m a much more hands on Dad to my boys than he was to me. Seems harsh as I have some fantastic memories with him, but she reckons I ‘do’ more with the boys. Am I making a big effort cos I don’t actually live with them full time ?
It’s extremely tough to have absolutely everything in life.
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@MN5
That’s the natural way of things though, isn’t it? We want to do better for our kids than our parents did for us. As no doubt they did too. That’s not to denigrate what ones parents did, just that it is in the nature to strive for better. However we see that. -
I grew up the only child to a single mum so I have no idea how to "dad". My childhood couldn't have been more different to what my kids experience - 2 parents v 1, siblings, more money and travel, technology vs a life of nothing but sport.
So far they seem to be turning out ok, they are all kind and respectful which is the drum we beat most often.
Course we haven't quite got to the teenage years yet so have that ahead of us....
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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
Upon a bit of self reflection, i think a lot of my happiness is based around an ability to let shit go. The wife hangs on to things for ages, or over thinks absolutely everything. And it affects her
My wife is similar - the stuff she even has no control over (dementia, divorces, drunken dad) is something she seems to spend an inordinate amount of brain time on. We've managed a couple of Date Nights and the conversation inevitably comes around to her Mum and then that's the end of proceedings, pretty much. Always below the surface.
I get that she worries about the kids (and I do to when I stop to think about it), but pick your battles, eh? The boy's report card wasn't shining this term and every bad grade he explained away by saying "I didn't like the subject, and I'm not doing it for my HSC". She's in a panic about his future and wants him to change to be like she remembers the HSC.
I'm of the opinion - and have told him to his face - that it is his decision and there are consequences. Up to him, but a bad HSC mark isn't the end of the world.
Having said that, I informed him that he better lift his game, given he's about to start subjects he chose for the HSC 
I will have a blow up and move on. Which can get you in trouble with the wife for not caring enough. But, if we are honest with ourselves, a lot of the shit we "hang on to" is very unimportant in the grand scheme of things
I've not mastered it yet, but am starting to become the same - particularly with work stuff. As I've mentioned elsewhere: putting in maximum effort all day is not my thing (just gets you into trouble
), but that wasn't always the case in my 20s. Once got burned by a company for whom I was sweating blood, and it made me bitter. Took me years to reach a point where I was resigned to a corporate system where good ideas are either ignored in favour of dogma or the credit was taken by others. -
@MN5 said in Happiness Scale:
It’s extremely tough to have absolutely everything in life.
I don't think that's really possible. It's about accepting the balance that's important to you at various stages of your life. If more people took time to smell the roses rather than fretting about fitting 25 hours into everyday, perhaps they'd be happier?
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@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
I imagine he would have listened but been uncomfortable about it. I really don’t know.
Ditto with me. Once I was 20, I was expected to have pretty much expected to just get on with life like a man.
Not too sure it was the healthiest of approaches mentally, and not one I've taken with my kids.
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@junior said in Happiness Scale:
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
After the wife and I got our first house back in 2000 - and could barely afford that - my parents came to visit.
We were having a few drinks and started talking about lottery wins. I magnanimously said that if we won, we'd pay the house off, then I'd pay Mum and Dad back for the university costs they supported directly. Much poo-pooing of the idea and not to worry about it.
"So, Dad, if you won the lottery what would you give us?"
He looked puzzled. "But if I gave you a big pile of money, you wouldn't learn anything"
I was waiting for the outburst of laughter from either parent, indicating the nature of the joke, but it never came.
When I look back at some of the financial decisions they made through my earlier life, I came to realise they were both pretty shit with money, and that's why, when they argued - very rarely - it was the central topic.
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@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@JC said in Happiness Scale:
@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
er, onlyfans?
Only person who could have filmed it was the wife because she set it up.
Probably did it in portrait too...
You're not married to @jegga 's ex are you? I reckon she's done him in.
Hmmm. Wonder what her MO is?
Surely not the old, possum, gumboots, gun, duck fence trick?
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@Godder said in Happiness Scale:
My personal rules for maintaining some semblance of happiness:
- Don't sweat the small stuff
- Don't worry about the stuff you can't control
- You don't have to keep up with the Joneses
- Don't let the bastards grind you down.
5. Masturbate as required.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Still plenty of bargains in regional Victoria and you are never that far from Melbourne.
The downside being it is full of Victorians
Melbourne is a nice city.
Couldn't live there of course, because as soon as anyone finds I lived in Sydney for 20+ years they'll constantly be asking me the specific ways in which Melbourne is better
Easy answer "Because I moved here, you furry hipster mouthballs!"
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I learnt early on not to sweat the small stuff.
Then when I became a dad I learnt not to sweat on the small stuff.
Personal Growth, #101 -
Crying.
Top notch ferning.
What you've all done here may have been therapeutic to yourselves, but you will definitely have helped at least one other person by sharing it.
Happiness Scale
