Defending your home
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<p>Man we were dumb.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One night when bored two of my mates (it was late and we were gathered at the surf club like everyone our age seemed to) went down to the beach and held hands as they walked along, kowing it would provoke something.... and it did.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also remeber a massive prop being knocked out by this little samoan dude. Turned out he was a golden gloves boxer!</p> -
<p>Holy shit BSG - that is fucking scary. An amazing story but it gave me chills. Best Kebab you've ever bought aye!</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="canefan" data-cid="568850" data-time="1459474081">
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<p>So not like this then</p>
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<p><img src="http://img08.deviantart.net/1f7f/i/2010/202/c/9/greenback_and_stiletto_by_ashley_the_wolf259.jpg" alt="greenback_and_stiletto_by_ashley_the_wol"></p>
<p> </p>
<p>All joking aside that is a scary story, how close you were to serious harm</p>
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<p>Can you believe they remade it?</p> -
<p>On one memorable occasion attending a favourite drinking establishment the first rule I ever learnt; if you knock a man's drink, offer to replace it even if you're not at fault, didn't work. At all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bloke quietly drinking against the bar by himself gets knocked by some people passing through as happens in a crowded bar and as a result he bumps into the heavily tattooed bloke next to him, which causes the tattooed bloke to spill his drink. Explains he was bumped, apologises and offers to pay for replacement. Offer isn't taken up and the tattooed individual becomes increasingly animated in voicing his displeasure. All the while the quiet bloke with a patient, measured tone is explaining that it wasn't his fault but he'll replace the drink, never raising his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tattooed bloke takes a swing and has it blocked, his arm pinned and then broken. Quiet bloke grabs the bloke who by this point realises he should have taken up the offer and pins the back of his neck against the edge of the bar, grabs a glass, then explains one more time in a tone that suggests his heart rate hasn't yet hit 60 that it wasn't his fault, he offered to replace the drink but "you had to be a big man, so fuck ya" and with that smashes the glass into the other guy's neck. Then simply walks out of the bar which was deathly silent for what seemed like an aeon.</p>
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<p>So second valuable lesson learnt as a young bloke; if you're getting upset and someone else is remaining calm, there may be a good reason for it.</p> -
<p>One time walking home alone from town, a few beers under my belt, I hadn't had a good night, had an argument with my missus at the time and stormed home...on the way these 4 teenage toe rags stepped out of a dark drive way and demanded my shoes and wallet, I was not in the mood so pushed the one that did the talking hard up against the fence told him to go fark himself and I wasn't giving him shit, and stepped past the other 2 in front of me and walked away, rapidly...about 100m away I crossed the road and looked back and they were all still standing there staring at me, but I turned and once I got round the bend about 50m away I broke into a run to my street which was only about 1km away...I expect they were thinking I'd just hand my things over and didn't know what to make of me.</p>
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<p>I also have a good friend who is maybe 5ft 6, 75kg tops, but he's black belt in something, has done some close protection/body guard work in the UK, and said on most of the courses he goes on, you end up with ex-SAS, KGB, Mossad types. But We used to do play-fight a bit (as mates do) and by fuck he was tough to ever get a grip on or pin down, CQB stuff is pretty impressive. We'd pretend like I had a knife (with a stick or something non-lethal obviously) and I never managed to get him with it, even after I learnt half his tricks!</p> -
<p>What do you say to a bloke like that ? "enjoy the bab, cheers for not stabbing me" ?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Any of you guys have that "mate" who gets in fights with multiple people at once and kicks all their arses without a scratch but this ALWAYS happens when there's no one around to see ? ie "walking home and got jumped by six guys with bats and knives but I wasted them all?" ( come to think of it I pushed some druggie in the gutter who grabbed my old man in town but that story is actually true and he was there to see it and say thanks and buy me a beer, funny how the animal instinct kicks in when family are threatened.....)</p>
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<p>There was a joker I knew through others who had all sorts of "war" stories about all the fights he'd won but again, similar situation to BSG, spilt a drink and someone ( just one bloke ) frightened the shit out of him by grabbing him round the collar. It was by the entrance of the fats in welly in the late 90s ( fucken feral bar where your shoes stuck to the floor ). Fucken funny viewing and none of us bothered helping him cos he was a fucken tool.</p> -
<p>I did a martial arts for years as a young adult. I learnt a few important things.</p>
<p>I am not much of a fighter, I dont have glass jaw... but I have one hell of a bleeder nose. </p>
<p>Plus unless you are really good, fights ending very badly usually come down to luck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BSG Master 7 and Miss 5 are both right into jiu jitsu at the moment, they frikking love it. Kinda funny seeing a little blonde petite 5 year old girl learning that stuff.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Baron Silas Greenback" data-cid="568864" data-time="1459478233">
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<p>I did a martial arts for years as a young adult. I learnt a few important things.</p>
<p><strong>I am not much of a fighter, I dont have glass jaw... but I have one hell of a bleeder nose</strong>. </p>
<p>Plus unless you are really good, fights ending very badly usually come down to luck.</p>
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<p>BSG Master 7 and Miss 5 are both right into jiu jitsu at the moment, they frikking love it. Kinda funny seeing a little blonde petite 5 year old girl learning that stuff.</p>
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<p>Being big, doing a bit of sparring here and there, having a good reach and a hard head helps I find. I have a couple of very willing partners in my 14 and 16 year old "stepsons" so that's good fun.....My kids ( both boys ) are exactly the same age as yours BSG and I'm in the process of choosing some kind of martial art to help unleash the fury.</p>
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<p>If you know a punch is coming and are ready for the impact you can definitely take it a hell of a lot better than a king hit you don't see coming that's for sure.</p> -
<p>I have no idea what I'd be like in a scrap/brawl/fight cos I've never been in one, but I've done a bit of boxing, a bit of sparring with my mate above...but doesn't mean much.</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="568868" data-time="1459479162">
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<p>I have no idea what I'd be like in a <strong>scrap/brawl/fight </strong>cos I've never been in one, but I've done a bit of boxing, a bit of sparring with my mate above...but doesn't mean much.</p>
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<p>I guess it depends on what you think the above is......to some real hard arses unless someone ends up in the hospital it was just messing about......</p>
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<p>Like most on here I'd say every single stupid altercation I've been in since college involved alcohol in one way or another.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="568868" data-time="1459479162">
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<p>I have no idea what I'd be like in a scrap/brawl/fight cos I've never been in one, but I've done a bit of boxing, a bit of sparring with my mate above...but doesn't mean much.</p>
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<p>I hear you.</p>
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<p>All the above instances have kind just happened around me. Never really been an active participant, sort of. Even at the rugby club I found myself in self preservation rather than attack mode.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="568866" data-time="1459478875">
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<p>Being big, doing a bit of sparring here and there, having a good reach and a hard head helps I find. I have a couple of very willing partners in my 14 and 16 year old "stepsons" so that's good fun.....My kids ( both boys ) are exactly the same age as yours BSG and I'm in the process of choosing some kind of martial art to help unleash the fury.</p>
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<p>If you know a punch is coming and are ready for the impact you can definitely take it a hell of a lot better than a king hit you don't see coming that's for sure.</p>
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<p>The MA I did had a lot of punching and kicking. Fuck all use in a random brawl or a life threatening situation, because most fights end up with 2 guys wrestling each other on the ground. </p>
<p>I think Jiu Jitsu is by the far the most effective martial art, both in playground tussles, formless pub brawls and also very serious situations. I never did it.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Baron Silas Greenback" data-cid="568872" data-time="1459479814">
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<p>The MA I did had a lot of punching and kicking. Fuck all use in a random brawl or a life threatening situation, because most fights end up with 2 guys wrestling each other on the ground. </p>
<p>I think Jiu Jitsu is by the far the most effective martial art, both in playground tussles, formless pub brawls and also very serious situations. I never did it.</p>
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<p>Yeah I think having a strong core and good balance and special awareness is definitely important cos if you end up on the ground with someone who knows what they are doing you're in a world of shit.</p> -
<p>Last time I got punched was about 20 years ago when I was an apprentice, I was working for this that was an absolute jerk and one day we were digging some footings and he saw me get my ruler and check the depth. It seemed pretty reasonable behaviour to me , too shallow it won't pass an inspection too deep I'm wasting his time and concrete, anyway he started screaming at me telling me I was a useless little fluffybunny and if I couldn't tell the depth by now I was fucked and would never amount to anything. I'd got a bit used to his rants by then but that really got to me so I knew of a guy who was looking for an apprentice and jacked up an interview.</p>
<p>Anyway I thought I better get into working a bit harder and being a bit more onto it because for obvious reasons working for this arsehole I didn't do much more then cruise and after about five weeks of waiting to hear back from this guy he called me and told be I had the job.</p>
<p>I waited until the end of the day to tell the jackass I was quitting and he started ranting and raving and telling me what an ungrateful little fluffybunny I was and without warning he pushed me into a pallet of bricks and punched me and started screaming at me to hit him back, it was about then I realised he was crying, not like one tear of frustration they were streaming down both his cheeks, I told him he was nuts and to fuck off and he stormed off to his van and drove away.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Over the next few weeks I caught up with the guys I used to work with and they asked me what happened and I made a point of mentioning a couple of times in the conversation that this fuckwit had burst into tears which either got a shocked look in return or more often laughs at his expense. Anyway one of them told me that the night before I quit he'd been down the pub bragging that he finally got me working the way he wanted me to and he was really looking forward to the next job because if we turned it out at the same pace as the last one he was set to make some decent coin out of the contract. We both had a good laugh at that.</p>
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<p>Once the shock of him hitting me wore off I realised it didn't actually hurt, in fact I'd been hit harder in scraps at school which seemed weird because he bragged about the martial arts he'd been into when he was younger . A couple of years later he was being a cock at a twilight golf tournament and a mate of mine called skinny [it wasn't an ironic nickname he's built like the guy in the pak n save ads] and him went at it in the carpark and skinny beat the shit out of him despite being half his size and nobody ever thinking he could fight his way out of a paper bag. Turned out behind his bluster and obnoxious behaviour my old boss was just a massive, massive pussy.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hooroo" data-cid="568895" data-time="1459493032"><p>
I feel sorry for your old boss after reading that. No sympathy for acting like that but still feel sorry. Must have massive mental issues. He would struggle every day I imagine.</p></blockquote>
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No in that story about him isolation you could take from it he had mental health issues but he's just a really angry selfish jealous fluffybunny, I could tell you a couple of other stories that would change your mind about him and you definitely wouldn't feel sorry for him anymore . <br>
A big part of his attitude was the other guys his age were getting ahead and he was standing still, they showed up to work earlier than him and worked their arses off. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="568793" data-time="1459454697">
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<p>The shit Dad jokes are off the hook here fellas, keep the awful work up !</p>
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<p>Personally I have a couple of guitars or an oil heater at hand to fight off an attacker. The axes all have huge sentimental value so I guess the oil heater it is, more of a throwing weapon on account of it's unwieldy grip though..... </p>
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<p>Mokey, I vaguely remember that story too, the burglar got awarded millions if memory serves me correctly. Fucked. Up. Shit......</p>
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<p>
Not really, only sort of...<br><br>
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<p> </p>
<em>The actual case involved a teenager who was on the roof of a school and, by the best accounts we can find, <strong>was trying to redirect a light because they were trying to play basketball</strong>. And while he was on the roof he stepped through the skylight, which had been painted over black. So this may have been a trespasser, but it wasn’t a burglar.</em></blockquote>
<p>
<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://overlawyered.com/2006/09/the-burglar-and-the-skylight-another-debunking-that-isnt/'>http://overlawyered.com/2006/09/the-burglar-and-the-skylight-another-debunking-that-isnt/</a></p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Hooroo" data-cid="568918" data-time="1459494673"><p>
Just a penis then!!
fair call. Bizarre for him to break down like that though?</p></blockquote>
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I think that had a lot to do with the conversation he had at the pub , I reckon he had got it into his head that he was going to get a taste of the lifestyle his "mates" had and he was embarrassed and angry that it was gone . The guys his age were building specs and had roofing franchises or their own firms and he was just a lazy stoner who turned up to work late and hungover a couple of times a week.<br>
When I told my new boss what happened he took me down to the police station to see if they would press charges but they said there wasn't much they could do without witnesses they couldn't do much . He has clocked up a couple of assault charges against him since though . -
Some great yarns, especially the lifesaving kebab - scary<br><br>
I'm very lucky not to have encountered any serious trouble in London. Got into a few scrapes growing up in my home town, again nothing serious.<br><br>
Funniest one, I was about 21 celebrating New Years Eve down my local. It was much more crowded then usual and apparently I trod on someone's toe. I didn't even know. Guy starts having a go at me - he was a big lad, white t shirt, tattoos, angry look on his face - pretty much a cartoon figure of a certain kind of twat.<br><br>
Probably due to ale, I couldn't take it seriously, told him if I had trodden on him I was sorry but he needed to relax, It's New Year's Eve ffs.<br><br>
Anyway he wouldn't take no for an answer, kept baiting me all evening, giving me the eye etc. Me and my mates went to leave to for another pub and he stood up, and I'd had enough so I thought fuck it and just pointed at him and then pointed to the door.<br><br>
We walked out and him and his mates piled out very soon after. I'd like to say a gave him a boxing lesson and everyone applauded, but it wasn't quite like that.<br><br>
We both started swinging wildly at each other, he broke my nose in the early exchanges but I have to say I didn't feel a thing. Next thing I know he had me pushed up against a car door and he had both hands around my throat and was strangling me.<br><br>
He was quite a big lad, hard to shift and I couldn't breathe - so in desperation I grabbed him by the balls and squeezed hard! His grip relaxed and the fight seemed to go out of him... I was able to smack him hard a few times more before my mates stopped it (they didn't want his mates stepping in).<br><br>
The main things I learned that day, was that even if you "win" a fight you never really win. Also if I had ever come up against anyone who knew what they were doing, I would be absolutely slaughtered. <br><br>
Nice to remember that the one time I couldn't talk my way out though, someone who deserved it got theirs, even if I did have a very sore snozzer for a few days. I heard that a day or so after the event (I'd gone back to uni by then) he was spotted in town with his left eye completely swollen shut. Happy days!
