Movie review thread...
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The Hitman's Bodyguard
Ryan Reynolds plays Ryan Reynolds being a bodyguard, who has to get his arch-enemy Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson, to a place before he's killed by faceless mooks. During this process, many, many faceless mooks are bashed or killed. Also interpol agents are bashed, and possibly killed.
It's pretty violent, but the fights are cut far too fast to see what is happening, possibly because Sam is old, and Ryan can't fight for shit.
It's basically your average buddy-cop movie from the 90s. But it's done well, is laugh out loud funny in places, and features Salma Hayek, who is still fuuucking hot, and whose tits may have got bigger. Also she has a potty mouth in this (actually everyone does). I liked it
The scene where Reynolds is sitting at the bar having a whinge, while carnage ensues behind him is fucking great.
3.5 perfect boring plans out of 5 ruined motherfuckers
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 because I think he is good and i usually like things he is in...just like if I see a movie with Hugh Grant in it I know it will suck so don't watch.
he's fucking awesome in Men In Black, watching him move is brilliant.
Like you, i think he's great, makes a really good creepy dude
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 because I think he is good and i usually like things he is in...just like if I see a movie with Hugh Grant in it I know it will suck so don't watch.
Fair enough.
I can't help but have a bit of a soft spot for Hugh though, I got dragged to Nine months back in 95 on a first date and it went extremely well. Not only that the movie was considerably less shit than I expected.
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the Dark Tower
Based on a Stephen King book(s).
Most of these adaptations are poor at best and this is no exception. Kid has weird visions and dreams of some other dimension where old mate Idris Elba ( even he can't save this ) is a gunslinger. Kid ends up in weird dimension and they both end up battling Matthew Mcnonawhatsshiname who can make people stop breathing and fall dead at the click of a finger but doesn't do this to our heroes for fuck knows what reason.
Confusing, lots of action but boring as fuck.
1.5 bouncing bullets out of 5 bad dreams
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Journey's End.
Another adaptation of R. C. Sherriff's play. Synopsis; focuses on a group of officers whose company is on rotation into the front awaiting an expected attack by ze Germans. Demonstrates the emotional and mental breakdown as they recognise the futility of their predicament; to be a speed bump in the enemy's advance.
It's well shot and superbly acted.
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 you gave it half a point more than i did
It had cool effects.
Overall it was a typical 'lots of SFX to make up for a terrible movie' type effort which is sadly very common these days.
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Antony Beevor: the greatest war movie ever – and the ones I can't bear
Thanks for that, great read
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
Has anybody ever been able to do the King Arthur thing right? I used to love that stuff as a kid but was let down by all the film portrayals. That Richard Gere one was a low point. Excalibur is also a nice looking film but pretty shit around. The Clive Owen one was an interesting take but didn't really work. Reckon that one from the 50s is probably the best.
Excalibur. end. of. discussion.
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@dk said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Antony Beevor: the greatest war movie ever – and the ones I can't bear
Thanks for that, great read
I concur.
Kind of annoying because reading what actually happened in a lot of these stories is often more impressive than the Hollywoodised version.
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Watched the ChiPs movie last night.
Laughed way more than I should have or thought I would. Actually enjoyed it.
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Also watched Gringo last week, Joel Egerton, Charlize, Thandi NEwton
Joel and Charlize are scummy upper level corporate types who try to weasel out of getting one of their employees back from Mexico when he is kidnapped for ransom.
Is ok, gets a +.5 rating cos Charlize plays a bit of a tart and is sexy as hell.
3 kidnapped Gringos out of 5 failed kidnappings
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@dk said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
Has anybody ever been able to do the King Arthur thing right? I used to love that stuff as a kid but was let down by all the film portrayals. That Richard Gere one was a low point. Excalibur is also a nice looking film but pretty shit around. The Clive Owen one was an interesting take but didn't really work. Reckon that one from the 50s is probably the best.
Excalibur. end. of. discussion.
You're a fan (:?
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Great new podcast about Top 100 Movie list
Informative, illuminating, irreverent
I listen through Stitcher
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Doctor Strange
What is it about visually stunning movies being such loads of unwatchable shit nowadays?
Admittedly I'm not the biggest Marvel fan but this was just awful. Lame gags, stupid over the top CGI action, an ugly bald woman, convoluted dialogue, even Mads Mikkelson couldn't save this mess.
1 ancient one out of 5 broken hands
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Doctor Strange
What is it about visually stunning movies being such loads of unwatchable shit nowadays?
Admittedly I'm not the biggest Marvel fan but this was just awful. Lame gags, stupid over the top CGI action, an ugly bald woman, convoluted dialogue, even Mads Mikkelson couldn't save this mess.
1 ancient one out of 5 broken hands
The car crash made no sense it that movie. I am a big shot doctor off to some awards thing. I am going to drive fast as fuck on a rainy night, on a windy road. Then I am going to just fucking stop looking at the road and start looking at pictures of work stuff on my phone.
The guy is supposed to be smart but that is dumb as all shit.
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@mooshld said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Doctor Strange
What is it about visually stunning movies being such loads of unwatchable shit nowadays?
Admittedly I'm not the biggest Marvel fan but this was just awful. Lame gags, stupid over the top CGI action, an ugly bald woman, convoluted dialogue, even Mads Mikkelson couldn't save this mess.
1 ancient one out of 5 broken hands
The car crash made no sense it that movie. I am a big shot doctor off to some awards thing. I am going to drive fast as fuck on a rainy night, on a windy road. Then I am going to just fucking stop looking at the road and start looking at pictures of work stuff on my phone.
The guy is supposed to be smart but that is dumb as all shit.
I didn't even think of that. Half a point deducted.