Modern Day Parenting
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="551889" data-time="1452540575"><p>my kids are both at their Nanas this week, house is strangely quiet, and empty...</p></blockquote>
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I have two weeks coming up without the kids, with one week just me and the wife. <br><br>
We realised that it was the longest we will have been on our own together for eight years. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Kirwan" data-cid="552855" data-time="1452919192"><p>I have two weeks coming up without the kids, with one week just me and the wife. <br><br>
We realised that it was the longest we will have been on our own together for eight years.</p></blockquote> <br><br>
Go nuts! Just think of the quiet semi awkward meal times.<br>
Free to go see Star Wars again... -
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Kirwan" data-cid="552870" data-time="1452929626"><p>
Actually, I might just do that :)</p></blockquote>
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Sleep in , go for lunch at a cafe and give the parents who's kids are running wild in the place filthy looks. -
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jegga" data-cid="552872" data-time="1452929986"><p>Sleep in , go for lunch at a cafe and give the parents who's kids are running wild in the place filthy looks.</p></blockquote>
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Ha, unfortunately my four week holiday is just coming to an end. No sleepins for me -
<p>I seem to have gotten everything arse about</p>
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<p>For years I delighted in adopting a supercilious expression whenever anyone started telling children issues - having none of my own.</p>
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<p>But for the last two years my solitary idyll has been disturbed by having a 20 year old living with me</p>
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<p>I feel the payback is now overdone </p> -
<p>We got the ownership model of our plum venture horribly wrong, the kids get all the profits.. but we didnt expect the profit they got. The 6 year old made over $600, and the younger made over $400.</p>
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<p>Little b'stards spend hours counting thier money.</p> -
<p>holy fuck!! the balance of power just shifted...</p>
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<p>That's right up there with "sure George, you can have the merchandising rights... <span style="font-size:10px;">sucker hehe<span style="font-size:14px;">"</span></span></p> -
<p>My boys tantrums seem to be worsening of late. The other day he went for 20+ minutes because we wouldn't give him a chocolate bar for breakfast.</p>
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<p>This article says giving your child a 'timeout' is not a good idea:</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/'>http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/</a></p>
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<p>That article seems to say you should comfort your child when he is upset. However when said child is screaming for chocolate, attempting to comfort him only winds him up further as he's not getting what he wants.</p>
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<p>Any tips for managing that situation? :)</p> -
<p>Advice part 1: Don't listen to fucking hippy twats who use brain analysis for their theories. </p>
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<p>Learning boundaries and the fact that someone bigger than you holds the cards is the only way to get kids to grow. Firstly to accept some things they can't change, secondly to force them into reasoning their way around that shit. </p>
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<p>When they learn there is a boundary, they then learn how it is they push it back.</p> -
<p>what the fuck? the shit that they talk about there, how is that practical in an everyday household? when you have more than one kid. And dinner to cook/have to get ready for work? Suddenly you have to drop everything and comfort your child who is losing his shit because you had the audacity to tell him to do something he doesn't want to do (terrible shit like eat his dinner, or not punch his brother in the face). </p>
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<p>I use a combination approach. He gets time-out in the bathroom for 2 minutes to calm himself down (normally he gets there, but only after he has wound himself up more) and then a calm discussion about what ever happened. it seems to work in the main, but he's 4, he forgets shit pretty fucking quickly. </p> -
<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='
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<p>25sec onward, excuse the shitty quality.</p> -
<p>Articles about parenting, are always based on one persons views and experiences. All kids are different, and all parents are different, so anything saying you should do xxx can pretty much so always be trashed, as no two experiences are ever the same.</p>
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<p>I find timeout works an absolute treat. Almost-4 year old loves to get upset and rock all, so I just put him on his bed, with the proviso that he can come out anytime, but no crying. Usually he comes out sheepish in 5-10 mins and takes another 5 mins or so before he's back to normal. I just completely ignore Miss almost-2 and she'll get over her tantrum in < 20 seconds.</p>
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<p>One thing which I do find annoying is phases. It's crazy how you can have something sorted, then for a couple of weeks it won't be sorted, then it'll e sorted again. My son was all toilet trained and then after about 6 months he suddenly started pissing his pants again. Every day. For about 3 weeks. And then he stopped again. No explanation, no triggers. Same with manners - we are absolute nazis about please and thank you, and it's probably the thing I'm most proud of with my son. Again, about a month ago, he just decided to stop doing it. And then he'd start having tantrums because we wouldn't give him what he wanted, and he couldn't figure out why (we don't tell them to say please/thank you, they need to work it out). Seems to be coming out the other end of it, but it's annoying the way something works one day, then the next day it just doesn't.</p> -
<p>Yeah we will continue with the timeout technique, it works well on the whole. The writer of that article seemed rather out of touch with reality. </p>
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<p>Consistency is the key, but I found the biggest bastard is when you've had a fluffybunny of a day at work and are running on minimal sleep.</p>
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<p>The problem is, you're tired, and people at work can piss you off but you have to eat their shit. When you get home, the gloves are off and the pent-up bullshit results in a carpet bombing of the kids rather than the reasoned punishment you explained to them the week before.</p> -
<p>Another one is "if you don't stop doing that you won't be able to play with [insert name of favourite toy here] for [insert amount of time based on how pissed off you are and or how heinous your offspring is being].</p>
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<p>As an added bonus you can then do "if you eat all your dinner/tidy your room etc you can have x back x amount of time sooner". A day is an eternity to a kid so you can't stretch the time out too far or they might get over their favourite toy and move onto something else.</p> -
<p>depending on where you are, sometimes, you just gotta let them go for it, ignore them, go outside, do something else, remove yourselves from the room (removing the temptation to go and comfort, engage with them) ensuring they see you leave though, sometimes there is just no negotiating. </p>
