Modern Day Parenting
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<p>We got the ownership model of our plum venture horribly wrong, the kids get all the profits.. but we didnt expect the profit they got. The 6 year old made over $600, and the younger made over $400.</p>
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<p>Little b'stards spend hours counting thier money.</p> -
<p>holy fuck!! the balance of power just shifted...</p>
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<p>That's right up there with "sure George, you can have the merchandising rights... <span style="font-size:10px;">sucker hehe<span style="font-size:14px;">"</span></span></p> -
<p>My boys tantrums seem to be worsening of late. The other day he went for 20+ minutes because we wouldn't give him a chocolate bar for breakfast.</p>
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<p>This article says giving your child a 'timeout' is not a good idea:</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/'>http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/</a></p>
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<p>That article seems to say you should comfort your child when he is upset. However when said child is screaming for chocolate, attempting to comfort him only winds him up further as he's not getting what he wants.</p>
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<p>Any tips for managing that situation? :)</p> -
<p>Advice part 1: Don't listen to fucking hippy twats who use brain analysis for their theories. </p>
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<p>Learning boundaries and the fact that someone bigger than you holds the cards is the only way to get kids to grow. Firstly to accept some things they can't change, secondly to force them into reasoning their way around that shit. </p>
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<p>When they learn there is a boundary, they then learn how it is they push it back.</p> -
<p>what the fuck? the shit that they talk about there, how is that practical in an everyday household? when you have more than one kid. And dinner to cook/have to get ready for work? Suddenly you have to drop everything and comfort your child who is losing his shit because you had the audacity to tell him to do something he doesn't want to do (terrible shit like eat his dinner, or not punch his brother in the face). </p>
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<p>I use a combination approach. He gets time-out in the bathroom for 2 minutes to calm himself down (normally he gets there, but only after he has wound himself up more) and then a calm discussion about what ever happened. it seems to work in the main, but he's 4, he forgets shit pretty fucking quickly. </p> -
<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='
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<p>25sec onward, excuse the shitty quality.</p> -
<p>Articles about parenting, are always based on one persons views and experiences. All kids are different, and all parents are different, so anything saying you should do xxx can pretty much so always be trashed, as no two experiences are ever the same.</p>
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<p>I find timeout works an absolute treat. Almost-4 year old loves to get upset and rock all, so I just put him on his bed, with the proviso that he can come out anytime, but no crying. Usually he comes out sheepish in 5-10 mins and takes another 5 mins or so before he's back to normal. I just completely ignore Miss almost-2 and she'll get over her tantrum in < 20 seconds.</p>
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<p>One thing which I do find annoying is phases. It's crazy how you can have something sorted, then for a couple of weeks it won't be sorted, then it'll e sorted again. My son was all toilet trained and then after about 6 months he suddenly started pissing his pants again. Every day. For about 3 weeks. And then he stopped again. No explanation, no triggers. Same with manners - we are absolute nazis about please and thank you, and it's probably the thing I'm most proud of with my son. Again, about a month ago, he just decided to stop doing it. And then he'd start having tantrums because we wouldn't give him what he wanted, and he couldn't figure out why (we don't tell them to say please/thank you, they need to work it out). Seems to be coming out the other end of it, but it's annoying the way something works one day, then the next day it just doesn't.</p> -
<p>Yeah we will continue with the timeout technique, it works well on the whole. The writer of that article seemed rather out of touch with reality. </p>
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<p>Consistency is the key, but I found the biggest bastard is when you've had a fluffybunny of a day at work and are running on minimal sleep.</p>
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<p>The problem is, you're tired, and people at work can piss you off but you have to eat their shit. When you get home, the gloves are off and the pent-up bullshit results in a carpet bombing of the kids rather than the reasoned punishment you explained to them the week before.</p> -
<p>Another one is "if you don't stop doing that you won't be able to play with [insert name of favourite toy here] for [insert amount of time based on how pissed off you are and or how heinous your offspring is being].</p>
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<p>As an added bonus you can then do "if you eat all your dinner/tidy your room etc you can have x back x amount of time sooner". A day is an eternity to a kid so you can't stretch the time out too far or they might get over their favourite toy and move onto something else.</p> -
<p>depending on where you are, sometimes, you just gotta let them go for it, ignore them, go outside, do something else, remove yourselves from the room (removing the temptation to go and comfort, engage with them) ensuring they see you leave though, sometimes there is just no negotiating. </p>
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<p>Agree with others here comforting is not normally very practical. Besides the world is a harsh place my boss dosent comfort me when I get annoyed. So why pretend thats how things work.</p>
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<p>Stick with timeout I say. Its not perfect but having some distance between you and the little gits is always a good thing. As NTA says it allows you to act more reasoned rather then trying to wrestle a psychopathic toddler into a cuddle and discussion about the nutritional qualities of having chocolate for breakfast.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="No Quarter" data-cid="553245" data-time="1453160236"><p>My boys tantrums seem to be worsening of late. The other day he went for 20+ minutes because we wouldn't give him a chocolate bar for breakfast.<br><br>
This article says giving your child a 'timeout' is not a good idea:<br><br><a class="bbc_url" href="http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/">http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/</a><br><br>
That article seems to say you should comfort your child when he is upset. However when said child is screaming for chocolate, attempting to comfort him only winds him up further as he's not getting what he wants.<br><br>
Any tips for managing that situation? :)</p></blockquote>
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Best advice we got was feed the behaviour you want and starve the stuff you don't. <br><br>
So praise for the good behaviour is an important part of dealing with the tantrums. <br><br>
And fuck the hippies, timeouts work. A minute for each year of age. Boredom is a kids enemy. <br><br>
It's a horrible stage, but it does end or at least get less frequent. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="booboo" data-cid="553336" data-time="1453204146">
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<p>Huh. Funny how we think that "time out" is now mainstream and un-hippie. Think about where "timeout" would have rated on the hippie-scale when each of us was growing up. :)</p>
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<p>Yeah, growing up, the normal parents used the wooden spoon, a smack or the belt. And the hippy fuckers used timeouts much to everyone's derision. 30 years ago the kid getting timeouts would been slightly pitied due to clearly being raised by a homo & tree hugging lesbian in some weird quiche based union.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="booboo" data-cid="553336" data-time="1453204146"><p>Huh. Funny how we think that "time out" is now mainstream and un-hippie. Think about where "timeout" would have rated on the hippie-scale when each of us was growing up. :)</p></blockquote>
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Yes, fair point. But as with most things it can be taken too far, which puts it back on the hippie scale. <br><br> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Siam" data-cid="553339" data-time="1453207086"><p>"Timeout" was the name of Dad's belt I think, as in "I think you need some timeout". Instant behaviour modification :)</p></blockquote>
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And after that, a raised eyebrow from Mum, or grown from Dad, was enough. <br><br>
Boundaries!
